How do you agree to disagree?

Agreeing to disagree usually follows a disagreement, debate or argument but it can also be used to actually avoid an anticipated debate. An exchange of opinion may have involved attempts to convince or negotiate your various positions and it’s natural that this will have evoked some emotions for all parties. Common emotions are anger, frustration, sadness and even shame. So you sensed you where getting nowhere and one or other of you pronounced that it’s time to ‘agree to disagree’. At this point how you respond will depend on lots of things such as self-esteem, confidence, openness, empathy, compassion and personal conditions of worth. Are you able to accept, respect and even value an alternative perception or are you incensed that someone feels so strongly in contrast to your own beliefs. How have your feelings about the individual/s been affected? Will these feelings be brief or long lasting? In therapy we often work on how to manage our negative feelings about people and events. Developing confidence and valuing your own feelings and instincts and yet being able to respect both challenge and difference from others are not easy skills to acquire. Next time you agree to disagree try to observe what is happening for you and if your response reflects a pattern for you in the way you deal with challenge. 

~ Jumbled Bean